So as I sit here - fighting the big fight of life - protecting and caring for my children. Keeping them safe and away from people who think they know what they are talking about. People who use things like religion as a cop out for whatever it takes to make them feel better about their lives.
I am a little cranky today. I made a decision 13 and a half years ago to protect my children from the madness of a disease that nearly took their biological father from them. It was something that I did not under any circumstances want my children to experience - the not knowing from one day to the next if their father would be alive or dead when they got home. This decision has caused problems in my marriage, my relationships with my children and the relationship that I tried to form with their father. He spent about 11 years getting his "crap" together - after he realized that this self piteous life that he was leading - instead of focusing on the things that the kids needed from him - he whallowed his sorrows in silliness - "why did you take them away? why won't you let me see them? why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me that much that you would eternally use them to break my heart?" I have listened to this for years and it finally stopped. He found another person who was willing to listen to his story & take his side. Someone who is equally entrenched in the grips of churchianity. Using religion when it works and then not following the teachings when it isn't working for them at that moment. I will not expose my children to such hypocrisy - I teach them tolerance & love not hate. Still protecting them. I found a blog that didn't particularily reference me by name but I knew that the person was talking about me. Wow...I titled this as I did because the experience that we had together - the interpretation is completely different. Silly me - I thought that caring and supporting this person for all of these years, raising his children, helping find a place to live, jobs, people to help him - all in vane. Setting a good example to my kids that despite hurt in the past that you can move forward and still be friends with the ones that hurt you. A simple misunderstanding would certainly do it. Talking to the wrong people who don't have a clue...about life, love, family - raising kids with special needs and still finding the time in between to show some love to the ones that are typical. I say this to the world in general and not just to those who used to be in my life and think they know what is going on inside my head or my heart because "God said so". The role of a parent is to be there 100% all the time - in whatever capacity that it takes to keep your children safe, to teach them the way of the world and to give them the tools that they need to move on and move forward. I do not believe in impressing a belief system onto my children that is my own when they haven't had all of their options put forward to them.
I was disturbed by a bunch of Churchianic radicals who were saying things about Halloween and how they would rather celebrate life than death, that Halloween is evil and all of this crap and nonsense. Halloween is a mockery of evil - and so it should be. Or denying your kids the ability to have fun because you had a crappy experience at the same event last year. I am being very sarcastic but I am really offended by the crap and nonsense that these people leak into my life. I made the mistake of asking for help & well...the answer was "sucks to be you & no". Back at ya babe!!!
Why do people insist on wrecking all the fun out of life because of their experiences. Their inability to be open minded. The same people who believe that gay people are sinful - God doesn't make any mistakes - by the way. God sends us the challenges that we need to move forward on the path that he has chosen for us - He does not intend for people to take the passages out of context & then apply it to whatever situation is suited too. God teaches to love - not hate. Why do think the world is in the state that it is in? This silly need for instant gratification, this sense of entitlement for everything that is out there. Come on people - and we pass this stuff down to children - all in the name of Churchianity!!!
The reflection that I see looking back at me in the mirror is not the real story - people need to listen to the rational thoughts, be creative & quit latching on to whatever is out there to make you feel better about the "crappy" life you live. There is a level of responsibility that we need to teach our kids and copping out is definatley not an option. We need to grow creative, happy children, who have an open mind that allows them to love unconditionally - don't have to like everyone but tolerance is important. Fear is the manifestation from ignorance and the refusal to grow a back bone and think for yourself - well that is almost the definition of insanity. History repeats itself - that is insanity - people need to open their eyes & love each other - show the kids that it is ok to be different. Put Churchianity to sleep & help grow a world of peace.
I know that was incredibly random & difficult to follow - but I am mad - sick & tired of people making excuses. Failure is not an option - I have a lot of people pulling on me & it is beginning to become harder & harder to hang on. Let it go =0)
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